Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Tiny tyrant

Son: He's mean and always comes to me and hits me.
Mom: Can you stay out of his way?
Son: He finds me.
Mom: Does he bother other kids in the class?
Son: Not "S." S is the boy in my class that never listens. That's why they're friends. The people who don't listen are friends and they don't like the good kids.
Mom: Does this mean boy hit your friend "J?"
Son: No, because J is strong and can defend himself.
(J does have two older siblings, so I'm sure this is true. My son takes Taekwondo but has not made the connection that any of those cool moves could be used defensively.)
Mom: You're strong, too. Maybe you could block him.
Son: I could kick him!
Mom: (Whoops!!) No, no! I don't want you to kick him.
Son: He hits me!
Mom goes through the whole 2 wrongs don't make a right discussion and reminds son that if he is seen kicking, he will be the one to get into trouble.
Daughter: Maybe you could just run away from him!
Mom: (likes daughter's suggestion but is afraid it won't solve the problem) You could try that. Have you asked him not to hit you?
Son: No
Mom: Maybe he thinks you're really tough and you don't mind. (Mom is hoping the "hits" are like a punch on the upper arm). Tell this boy it hurts and you want him to stop.
Son: Maybe I could try to give him a hug!

Mom is speechless for a moment but gives her son a big hug!

(I don't want to make my child "easy prey" but I just love his optimism!)

This has just started since the children are playing indoors more often with other classes. (When it was warmer and they played outside more often, this did not seem to be a problem.)

For the second time this week, my son did not want to go to school because he did not want to deal with the mean kid. So I did talk with his teacher this morning. I did not have his name but when I told her it was "S's friend from another classroom" she knew who I meant. Apparently she said "he is a tiny child who thinks he's better than the other kids and picks on all of them." (My son will never be the tallest kid on the block but the fact that a preschool teacher mentioned that the bully is "tiny" at least makes me feel better that he isn't holding my son up against the wall by his shirt collar!)

Apparently this boy has been shuffled between classes a couple of times for similar problems. His parents have been told but don't believe their little darling could be causing trouble.

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